· By Maria Nilsson
I LOVE ME, HONESTLY.
We all know what we have to do, we all know what is good for us and what isn’t, though it seems universal in understanding that the most difficult part about ‘knowing’ is implementing and applying the knowledge. In our daily lives, we are constantly flooded with choices, everything we do is a decision, from getting up in the morning and choosing what we do with that time before we surrender our time towards commitment, obligations or other necessary activities to live. Decisions can become repetitive, because, let’s face it, the world functions on routine. Every repetitive decision we make becomes our reality, going to work, buying groceries to eat, spending time with loved ones, using our down time wisely – even the things we tell ourselves every day, they too, become a part of us, or more dramatically, we become them. As human beings, it is hard to really expose ourselves for who we truly are, for we fear being judged or speculated on, our decisions are more or less controlled and inspired by the majority rule. We are constantly fed with what it means to be successful, beautiful, happy, that we then lack the independence to decide what these virtues might specifically mean for us as individuals. That person’s success is not going to mean the same thing for you, nor is that person’s happiness, and who on earth came up with the sentiment to love your flaws? Here’s the twist, it’s not a flaw, it’s probably just something different about you compared to the majority. Who decided that your so called ‘flaw’ is even a flaw? Is it a flaw because it’s compared to people who have been culturally appropriated as beautiful? Is it a flaw because it distinguishes you as a part of the minority, and you know what they say about minorities, gee they have it tough, you don’t want to have to walk around with that heavy weight on your shoulders known as ‘difference?’
Self-love inspiration is narration that we read time and time again, and we know it, we know that we should love ourselves for our differences, but the hardest thing women face is having to apply that self-acceptance into truth. Because, all of those decisions that we made about telling ourselves that “it will get better when….. I do this, or if……. I do this, then this will happen and I will be happier” Usually those sentences are completed by thoughts that scrutinise our physical appearances or daily behaviours. The negativity becomes ingrained in our mind and we begin to depend on it to motivate us to make changes to the things we don’t like, but the negativity feeds an expectation that is mostly unrealistic. So how do we change this pattern of thinking, how do we be happy with what we have now and love ourselves for we have, not what we don’t have compared to the ones put on a pedestal for what they do. I don’t know. It might take a few more decades for the conditioning we’ve been under to eradicate and formulate more diverse and accepting conventions, but do yourself a favour and stop the self-sabotage. That’s the thing that is stopping you from achieving whatever it is that you want, the negative dialogue you run in your mind becomes what you are, and the changes you want to see or the goals you want to achieve are receptive of this, manifestation really is a thing. If you negatively manifest, the fruition of it, will also be negative.
All of us at Atmosea are die-hard fans of happily inundating you with motivational self-loving material, but we want you to honour it, don’t butcher it. Self-love is the best thing you can do for the ones around you, self-destruction is blatantly selfish and feeds conventions that promote shallow and artificial tendencies. Self-love mechanisms should infiltrate every aspect to your daily routine, because they will become habits, and they will become real.
Not long ago, the Atmosea team gathered at a house on the quieter beaches of Byron Bay, for a day and night of self-acceptance. There was vulnerability, tears, laughter and empowerment. There was probably awkwardness and embarrassment too, but that’s all a part of it. We shared the refusals, rejections and negations we all commonly told ourselves that prevent us from being the people we want to be, and understood that we are not alone. We chose one thing we love about ourselves and focussed on loving that one thing the whole time. We spoke openly about what we are worried about and why we put these limitations on ourselves. Everyone had their worries and everyone had their stuff, but as a group we learnt that we are not alone in the thoughts that we have, but we are alone in changing them. It is our individual responsibility to love ourselves for our very own selves, we will be with this self our whole life and the best thing to do is to just love it and be nice to it and make it feel confident and applaud its differences. There’s already too many of the same people out there anyway.
To celebrate loving ourselves, we have teamed up with Byron Bay Skincare and every order in November and December has come with a very special treat to accompany you on your journey towards whole heartedly loving yourself for you, with softer and lovelier skin.
Written by Daini Stephenson